Thursday, August 29, 2013

Looks like I will be able to participate in the Augusta 70.3, so I'm being a lot more diligent about my training.

As a consequence, everything I own hurts.

Nevertheless, once I commit, I commit. Today I had a long run scheduled. No problem - weather looking good, with a break in the heat.

Last Sunday, when I went for my long bike ride (50 miles), I discovered I only had one GU (a nutritional gel with calories and electrolytes), no Gatorade. I made-do with the GU, seven fig newtons, and an FRS energy drink.

On Monday, I placed Amazon order for GU and Glide (anti-chafe stick). We are Prime members, so the Wednesday package arrival was perfect for my long run.

Last night, lying in bed (BTW, took five minutes trying to determine if I was LAYING or LYING in bed), I realized I missed my dog's barking cacophony when the FedEx man arrives. Turning off the alarm, I searched the porch, around the porch, the sides of the steps, and out by the garage.

No package.

Checked Amazon. Somehow my package missed the truck, so would be delivered Thursday instead.

Arghhh...went to sleep wondering if I had a race gel sample or two tucked away.

Morning.

Nope. No gels. Not in my backpack, not in my gym bag. Not in my race drawer, not in my work bag.

Walked the dog - 67 degrees, humid, but fine.

I have created a LOT of excuses during the past months for avoiding workouts, but today I am determined.

I decide to MacGyver some nutrition.

I need a base, some electrolytes, and some calories.



I put the FRS drink in the blender (I would like to appeal to FRS at this point not to sue me for inappropriate use and promotion of their product).

Turned on the blender.

Removed the center lid plug to add ingredients.

Added 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Turn over the honey jar, and begin to add honey.

In high school, Mr. Vermillion was the Chemistry and Physics teacher. From his classes, I remember two things:

1) It is a known scientific fact that hair is as long inside the brain as outside. More girls were now in science classes because boys tangled their brains by growing long hair, like the girls.

He was joking.

He was bald.

2) ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS check the lid on a chemical container before using or pouring. If the user before you did not tighten the lid, a chemical spill could occur.

Sorry Mr. Vermillion. I failed.


The honey lid was not tightened. As I was the last to use the honey, I have only myself to blame. The lid went in and chop, crack, cringe, crunch.

I filtered the mess with my sieve, then went back to it, this time forgetting to put the lid on before turning on the blender.

I created quite the sticky mess.

Amazingly, I ended up with about 10 ounces of mixture. It didn't taste badly.

Have you ever picked up a new gel during a race and thought, "I need a gel. It's not my brand. Many people use it. How different can it be? I'll be fine. I need a gel..."

Then the nausea begins.

Weeellll...

I did run 10.2, my longest run of the season.

I did burp a lot during the miles, was queasy and uncomfortable. I probably drank about five ounces full strength total.

At the half way point I have water access, so I dumped most of the remaining concoction, diluted a couple ounces with water, and alternated at the point between water and diluted nutrition.

I fought through the last two miles, some cramping and fatigue.

And when I got home?

What awaited the mad scientist?

MY AMAZON PACKAGE!

Curse you FedEx.




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